a list of things i need to understand according to andy stanley:
1. promises are no substitution for preparation. commitment is way overrated. ”The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to the ways, but the folly of fools is deception.” proverbs 14:8 ”The simple believe anything, but the prudent give thought to their steps.” proverbs 14:15
2. the paths people choose trump the commitments they make. the past is a better indicator than the promise.
1. my understanding of this is that a promise means nothing if you haven’t made the necessary steps to prepare for making that kind of promise. you don’t put a downpayment on a car before you’ve saved enough to make payments on that loan. we need to stop making empty promises to one another. all we can do is try. as much as anyone wants to do right by someone else, it is not fair to make a promise you cant keep. after all, when do things ever go the way you plan? if you commit to something you cant do, your commitment is worthless. patience and preparation. these verses mean that a fool is easily deceived by a promise, whereas a wise person looks at paths and ways a person got to be where they are. and they understand that the paths they took affects their future
2. what can i say that hasn’t already been said? i honestly don’t think its fair not to forgive someone for their bad past. how do they start a new one without someone giving them a chance? but i suppose a bad habit has to be nipped before it starts. i don’t think i ever really truly gave up wanting detachment. it was so easy for so long and then someone walked right on in and ruined the whole damn operation. and i love him for that. but did i ever really stop the habit? yeah, before the happening, i wanted some real love and stopped what i was doing for a while. but how long is long enough to break a habit? i have no desire to be promiscuous so maybe i already know the answer to all that.
a list of things i need to do according to andy stanley:
1. address your unresolved childhood issues. if you attempt to build intimacy with a person before you’ve done the hard work of becoming a whole and healthy person, every relationship will be an attempt to complete the hole in your heart.
2. don’t dress like a commodity and don’t put up with being treated like one.
3. break your bad habits or the good things will get better and the bad stuff will get worse
4. postpone the physical component of your dating relationship as long as possible
5. Avoid living together.
6. Non-Christians: don’t date a christian unless you plan to become one
1. this makes total sense. and I’m glad that i have a relationship with both my parents. its not perfect, but its something. and i love them both for being who they are, childish or not.
2. this breaks my heart for the young girls that are trying to grow up so fast. i was at such a trying time in life when i was a preteen. being bullied is not fun. depression is such an easy thing to fall into at this age, and having the relapses i do, i wouldn’t put it on my worst enemy. so any young girls that are reading this, dont dress in distaste if you want to be treated with an ounce of respect by a guy. if you feel a need, then its not worth it.
3. bad habits, bad habits, bad habits. they are no excuse for bad behavior. if you put up with someones bullshit and they tell you to accept them for who they are, a bad habit is not who someone is. its something they do. don’t kid yourself. learn to tell the difference. i have so many to work on. my mind is fucked up with all sorts of bad habits. one of them is giving in too easily to my emotions causing me to become very depressed for reasons that are silly to anyone looking in. i could also afford to learn some patience. and silence. talking is so exhausting and i don’t always want to be the one to talk about it. so many things could be solved in silence.
4-6. are self-explanatorily reasonable. of course you don’t want something physical to ruin a relationship of the mind and of somewhat intelligence. it is almost unrealistic to expect zero physical contact with someone, but the idea of “postponing” is perfect. its the idea that yes, the physical is inevitable, but lets see how long we can be fulfilled with just the presence of each other. and honestly, if you haven’t been together longer than a real commitment, then anything more than a weekend sleepover is damaging. it is so tiring having to feel the need to entertain each other. one starts to get sick of the other, the other will feel a lack of attention. this is just a fast forward leap into a constant push and pull to and from one another. and that is not normal. not for anything less than a marriage. as far as Christianity goes, i hope and pray that anyone who tell you they love God more than they love you is telling the truth. it breaks my heart. it really does to see someone use their faith to impress someone else. this will just hurt you both in the end.
arguing is so necessary. a relationship will eventually feed on that. but im not ready for the eventual.. just the puppy love. and so far, ive loved the process of falling in love. i pretend i dont, but i do. and i would love to go back and deny all those kisses in public.
will i ever start talking about just my day? why does everything have to be a life lesson? i don’t know, but one thing is for sure, i love Jesus.